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Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces

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Editor’s note:  This is one of the best political humor pieces I have seen in years!  Please visit The Babylon Bee!  Links provided below.,

https://babylonbee.com/news/senate-to-be-replaced-with-room-full-of-monkeys-throwing-feces

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. “About 100 people” voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.

 

Highland Ape Rescue out of West Virginia will be teaming up with Cornwell Primate farms to supply hundreds of monkeys and apes to the Senate. The animals will be fed a nutritious mixture of foods that produce easily throwable feces. Protective glass will be put up around the Senate for camera crews to safely film, but anyone being interviewed by the new senators will have to sit in the middle of the poo-flinging octagon, coming under a heavy barrage of projectile excrement.

“It will be a huge improvement from how things were before,” said ape trainer, Marlena Henwick. “No more 10-12 hour hearings. With these monkeys, all the fecal projectiles will have been flung in under 30 minutes. One and done.”

The recently replaced senators will be placed on display at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. for families to park, attendees to observe and zoologists to study.

 

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Getting a second opinion

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pic
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best
patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, ‘I like to see accountants
on my operating table because when you open them up, everything
inside is numbered.’
The second, from Chicago , responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.’
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, ‘No, I really think librarians
are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: ‘You know, I like
construction workers…Those guys always understand when you have
a few parts left over.’
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when
he observed: ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine..
Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.

Adele Trashes Newt Gingrich at the Grammys! (parody)

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Yes! This is obviously a voice-over production but done so skillfully it will make you wonder!  Whomever put this together, the soundtrack should be played everywhere the Newt shows up!

Adele couldn’t trash Gingrich anyway…..he’s already done that to himself.

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