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The Babylon BEE: ‘We Are Not The Enemy Of The People,’ Say Press Who Intentionally Deceive The People To Protect The Political Elite

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NEW YORK, NY—Various news outlets reminded the American people Tuesday that they are not their enemy, despite intentionally deceiving the people in order to protect the political elite.

The media who literally allowed the people to be preyed upon by the rich and powerful rather than run information that might harm their elite buddies assured the people they are on our side.

“We are not the enemy of the people,” said a spokesperson for ABC News, waving his hands in the air as though trying to perform some kind of Jedi mind trick. “Yes, I know it may seem that way when we cover up damaging information to protect the rich and powerful, but trust us when we say we know better than you.”

“We are your friends,” he added in a hypnotic voice while swinging a stopwatch back and forth. “Say it with me: we are your friends. Yes, yes, gooooood.”

CNN’s Brian Stelter agreed, saying that though he calls out the president for lying all the time, it’s different when the press does it. “Our lying is democratic lying,” Stelter said. “It’s for your own good.”

“Also, Epstein definitely killed himself, and we don’t have any other information on that.”

The Land of the Fleeced and the Home of our Early Grave

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  new-logo25By Miss American

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“For the aware among us, it has mostly been a long, lonely, depressing, winding road.  Very soon, one by one, the suckers will awaken from their slumber to the new America:  The Land of the Fleeced and the Home of our Early Grave.”
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Why has the nation that was the envy of all peoples and a beacon of hope for the world, become one of the catwtf1most hated, resented and feared entities on earth?  What happened?  Who is behind it?  Was it really this way all along?  If so, the world has been deluded for decades by satanic self-appointed  masters of the universe who took great delight in engineering a false world for the masses to wallow in.

Just when everyone felt safe and secure in their home, and in their children’s future (ie. firmly under Satan’ s matrix and boot), Satan and his helpers decided it was the perfect time to start amusing themselves by administering the shock treatments Americans ‘deserved’.  With no shame, and little cover, they started to show their hideous face.  It started with a ‘war on terror’, imaginary boogymen, protecting the ‘homeland’, the need to kill millions, and destroy entire countries.

While stuffing their pockets with billions, they told us it was to keep precious Americans ‘safe’.   More

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