By:  IOwn Yourmama

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Is a new, lucrative career as professional predator waiting for you?  Call us at 1-800-yourascumbag  or: send your resume to “Coffin Chasers r Us” !

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Are you looking for a new career?  Tired of actually having to work for a living?  Do you lack any morals, ethics, any sense of empathy or sympathy?  Are you looking to make easy money?  Would it bother you to be known as a “coffin chaser”, a predator, a vulture?  Could you sleep at night knowing you had caused so much misery and suffering not only to your victim, but also to the extended family as a result of your chosen profession? Your personal greed? Your lack of humanity? You could??  Have we got a career for you!

Become a Professional Fiduciary!  Take ownership of another human being!

• Our kangaroo judges will immediately strip that elderly person of all of their Constitutional protections.  By the time we are done, the victim will be “dead in the law” and our “judges” will declare them civilly dead and will effectively declare them chattel property….YOU OWN THEM!
• Our judges can be depended upon to immediately discard all standing legal instruments that the victim might have constructed to protect themselves in old age.  Trusts?  Medical directives and surrogates?  Wills?  NOT A PROBLEM!  We can guarantee that none of these arrangements will stand and will be immediately thrown out by one of our judges!
• We can teach you how to file false charges against family members claiming abuse, exploitation, neglect and other unsubstantiated claims.  Don’t worry about having to prove anything!  Our probate judges are more than willing to accept whatever you say without that pesky task of proving your allegations.
• We’ll show you how to begin tapping that estate within days of your phony emergency guardianship petition.  You can be driving a new Mercedes by Friday, and you can pay all of your bills out of the victims estate! And no one can do a thing about it! 
• Any property owned by the victim is now yours!  All personal possessions, any art work, valuable jewelry, family heirlooms, any homes or other real estate is there at your disposal! All bank accounts, investments, bonds, stocks, cars, trucks, anything of value can now be retitled to you!  You just have to say you stole sold it to “benefit the ward”!  And you can keep doing this until the estate is totally depleted.  When it is, you simply have to petition the court to allow you to resign as guardian. 
• Even though state statutes prohibit it, we will show you how to isolate the elderly victim from their family, friends, and even from their churches.  If anyone even thinks of insisting on visiting the victim, we can promise the total cooperation and intimidation of the local police or sheriff’s office in threatening those visitors with criminal trespass if they persist.
• We have a list of doctors who will more than willingly prescribe psychotropic medications for use as chemical restraint, even though these are strictly prohibited for use on people over 60.  In exchange for their cooperation, they are allowed to bill the victims for services never rendered.
• We have dependable and possibly clairvoyant, psychiatrists who are quite able to diagnose all the fictional mental illnesses you can think of …..and many times they never even have to actually visit the victim! They just know! But they can write letters to the court that will scare the beejesus out of a normal person!
• Through our network of participating facilities known as nursing homes warehouses we will drug, neglect, abuse and sometimes even starve the victim.  If they become too bothersome, our staff is not at all opposed to a little physicality in the form of an “attitude adjustment”.  Don’t worry about this, as it is a rare occasion that you will ever have to even see the victim, although you can still bill the estate as if you actually did! (Does it get any better than this?)
• We have a cadre of unethical and immoral attorneys who are more than willing to represent you as they tap the estate right along side of you.  The fortunes that have been made by legal professionals in this field is supported by and, protected by, the fine folks at your local Bar Association.  Even your state judiciary will turn a blind eye to grand larceny, financial exploitation, and the abuse of the victim that is taking place on your command. 

These are just a few of the highlights of the career that awaits you should you decide to become a professional predator!  With our training you will learn how lucrative owning another human being can be.  Multiply that by the limitless possibility of having hundreds of victims that you supposedly are caring for.  We’ll show you how to set things up to make it look like you actually performed some kind of service to the victim while never having to do a thing except collect the money!

We guarantee that you will never be held accountable to anyone for any of the lives you will destroy. Heck! We even have judges who will give you immunity from prosecution should anyone try to hold you accountable!

So drop us a line and tell us why you think you could work as a predator in the guardianship field. The professional fiduciary field is the fastest growing and most lucrative cottage industry in the country and is fully supported by the Bar Association, The National Guardianship Association, Judicial Oversight and Review Boards, and those laughably useless Fiduciary Oversight Boards that we have set up in almost every state.

And remember! The silver tsunami is coming and the potential for stealing millions from the estates of those who committed the new age crime of “aging with assets” is here!

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