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Furiously Spinning White House Revolving Door Causes Category 5 Hurricane

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Right on the heels of Donald Trump’s Twitter-firing of Rex Tillerson as secretary of state Tuesday, the National Weather Service announced the rapid formation of a devastating category 5 hurricane originating from the furiously spinning revolving door located at the front of the White House.

“Hurricane Donald coalesced very quickly right above the White House as a result of the extremely violent rotation of the front revolving door, as employees are joining and leaving the Trump administration at a frenetic pace. Take shelter immediately,” a NWS spokesman said in an emergency breaking news transmission. “If White House turnover doesn’t quiet down, I fear we’re going to be seeing many more of these weather patterns on the East Coast, so we need to be prepared.”

At publishing time, excited scientists have confirmed that the planet has now entered a cooling trend, again due to powerful winds created by the White House revolving door.

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Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout

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Check out the Babylon Bee for the best of satirical graphics and writing on the web!

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move to make purchasing congresspeople easier and faster for lobbyists, Congress voted to approve a new measure that calls for congresspeople to wear barcodes on their foreheads so lobbyists, activists, and corporations can simply scan them and self-checkout.

Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol Building, so once they’ve added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists can pay right on the way out.

“Purchasing congresspeople used to be a time-consuming, expensive process,” said a Planned Parenthood representative. “Now, we can simply walk through Congress, scan all the congresspeople that are for sale, and checkout without having to interact with any humans.”

“We hate humans—like, a lot,” the PP rep added.

One major military-industrial complex lobby group, Americans For Bigger Bombs, said they are also in support of the new move.

“When you need to make a quick pit stop at our nation’s legislative body to purchase a few congresspeople to start a new war, you need to do it fast,” said one AFBB lawyer. “An attack on Iran can’t wait while you wheel and deal, wine and dine, and negotiate endlessly. Now, I can just scan and go.”

Nine Important Facts About Life

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Courtesy of Jim Cody, one of LinkedIn’s top inspirational motivators!!

 

Oddly Funny…. But Oh So True!

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Found on Facebook…….This is how self policing works.

 

What does “Service” really mean??

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https://www.facebook.com/farmerslifeclub/

 

Grandma’s Rock!!

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