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Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces

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Editor’s note:  This is one of the best political humor pieces I have seen in years!  Please visit The Babylon Bee!  Links provided below.,

https://babylonbee.com/news/senate-to-be-replaced-with-room-full-of-monkeys-throwing-feces

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an emergency, overnight referendum, the American people voted on Thursday to replace the United States Senate with a room full of monkeys throwing feces. The measure passed with 57% of the vote. 22% of voters thought the Senate should be replaced by barking seals, while 17% voted that the replacement should be the pit of venomous snakes from Indiana Jones. 3.97% voted that Senate members be replaced by screaming goats. “About 100 people” voted for the current Senators to keep their jobs, with this tiny voting bloc centered in Washington, D.C.

 

Highland Ape Rescue out of West Virginia will be teaming up with Cornwell Primate farms to supply hundreds of monkeys and apes to the Senate. The animals will be fed a nutritious mixture of foods that produce easily throwable feces. Protective glass will be put up around the Senate for camera crews to safely film, but anyone being interviewed by the new senators will have to sit in the middle of the poo-flinging octagon, coming under a heavy barrage of projectile excrement.

“It will be a huge improvement from how things were before,” said ape trainer, Marlena Henwick. “No more 10-12 hour hearings. With these monkeys, all the fecal projectiles will have been flung in under 30 minutes. One and done.”

The recently replaced senators will be placed on display at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. for families to park, attendees to observe and zoologists to study.

 

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Poor, poor delusional Harry Reid

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carries take11

October 19, 2013 by Carrie K. Hutchen

Reid told The Huffington Post that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is smart, but he can’t 31673_1thoutmaneuver the 26-year veteran in the halls of Congress.

“He might be able to work a calculus problem better than I can,” Reid said Thursday. “But he can’t legislate better than I can.” ~The Hill – 10/18/13

Someone should tell Harry Reid that what he does, many of us do not call “legislating”.  There are many names for it, but that is not one of them.

Reid said Cruz is a “laughing stock to everybody but him” and said he pitied the GOP if the party saw him as a viable nominee for president in 2016. ~The Hill – 10/18/13

No, Harry Reid, Senator Cruz is not the laughing stock to everyone but him.  As a matter of fact, for you to say that, is to say the American People he stood up for are a laughing stock.  How dare you!

Harry Reid, you have shown yourself.  Your arrogance will be your downfall.  Your Rooster walk will trip you up.  No one is fooled by you, except the uninformed and zombie troops.  But never fear, many are waking from their blind coma, as the results of your “legislating” hits their lives and pocketbooks.

Laugh and mock this moment away, Harry Reid, because it won’t be long until the elections and that smirk on your face will turn to a blush of embarrassment.  Then you will know that many, many people aren’t happy with you, Harry Reid.  Not happy at all.  They’ll be telling you what they think of your “legislating” and you’ll know it isn’t Senator Ted Cruz they are laughing at.  You’ll know that for sure!

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http://www.carriestake.com/poor-poor-delusional-harry-reid/

Government flow chart

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flow

When top level guys look down, they see only shitheads.  When bottom level guys look up, they see only assholes.  Never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly. 

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