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I’m lucky. I have a tight-knit family. I realize for many it’s not like that. Kids move far away and trust that their parents will always be the same. But as people hit their 80’s or sometimes earlier, changes happen fast. Adult kids haven’t thought about it. It’s easy to see how that could happen because most people don’t understand much about the aging process. I mean, as a society we don’t want to face it, and everything in advertising and media is about staying young. It’s truly important to bring reality to the forefront without shaming or demeaning our children’s failings unless real abuse has occurred. Sometimes negligence can be stopped by education.
If your kid’s don’t pay attention, what’s to prevent Adult Protective Services and others from removing an elder from their home by court order? Let’s say an elder has fallen and lands in the emergency room. Everybody knows that elders become less able to care for themselves very well at some point. Officials can see this as the equivalent of leaving a child alone at home if they want to. (The court can and does set aside a power of attorney you have in place.) Where’s the line? Think of it this way: What would happen if somebody found a kid at home alone and they had an accident? That kid would be taken away and put into a foster home. We need to understand that elders over 65 need more and more attention as they age, and anyone not living with an elder needs to know the risks. 65 is basically the age you become an elder who is looked at differently–as more vulnerable.
Tell your kids about this. Chances are, an outcome like this wouldn’t happen, but it could. Adult Protective Services, a doctor, nurse, social worker –or a professional who trolls emergency rooms (believe it or not there are social workers or others who do this with connections on the “inside”, much like ambulance chasers) can legally initiate a petition to have you put under the control of a professional court-appointed guardian. If the court agrees that this is an emergency, that person then controls all decisions and your assets. This emergency petition basically bypasses due process.
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