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new-logo25Marti Oakley        © copyright 2014 All rights reserved

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How’s that global warming workin’ for ya?

With record low temperatures for extended periods of time putting most of the upper mid-west and much of the rest of the country in a virtual deep freeze for the last six months, I was slightly surprised to hear the reason for this: global warming. Yup! It’s getting so darned hot that it caused the temps to drop globally. Confused?  You just don’t understand!                                                          32714_1th

Testing!

(We) used HAARP to melt a 12-square mile ice field called “Larson B“ in the Artic. We did this in just a few weeks and then filmed the area for use on cable news networks even though we were responsible for the high speed rate of melting. ( Don’t ya just love you some HAARP??) We did this to frighten you, the public, into believing the Artic was going to melt and drown you all as a result of global warming. Are you scared, yet???

Unfortunately, Mother Earth had other plans and fought back and that ship we sent up there to film the drowning polar bears is still stuck in the massive ice field that grew by 60 miles this winter. In fact, so are a couple of big ice-breakers we sent in to rescue the photographers. Who the heck saw that coming?? The polar bears are not drowning, and the ships are still stuck in ice that is thickening by the day. But don’t pay any attention to that…..we want you focused on this global warming hoax we concocted, after all, we have billions of dollars invested in convincing you this scam is for real!

If you still aren’t convinced, we created the “polar vortex” to explain why, in spite of the global warming alarmism  we are trying to terrorize you into believing is real, you experienced extreme frigid conditions, resulting in the astonishingly low temperatures in the northern states, and blizzard conditions in the southeastern states.

But here is the real genius of our scam, er, I mean plan. If you are a huge corporation and will pay us to continue to pollute, you can can pollute all you want! See what you didn’t understand here is that global warming, and toxic emissions can be totally negated for large amounts of cash!

See, here is how it works (paraphrased)

stupid

The sun is having solar flares and so the governments around the world began a process of global dimming via chemtrails. The fact that we have added live and dead bacterium, viruses and whatever else we could find into the chemtrails along with aluminum, should be of no concern to you because you are about to be cooked to death by the sun and steamed in a massive overload of too much oxygen for your own good. Take our word for it……we are scientists.

These chemicals and pathogens were dispersed in the sky to deflect the suns warming rays. Co2 was determined to be dangerous to the earth and that had to be dimmed too. Now, crops don’t produce like they should, and trees drop their leaves all summer long, and the basic cycle of life is being changed on multiple levels, but thats only because co2 is so harmful. Atmospheric Co2, referred to as atmospheric fertilizer,which is absorbed by the now weakened plant life, and used to be exchanged as oxygen is being intentionally reduced. Besides, who or what needs all that oxygen? Can’t think of a reason we might need that…..

Reducing Co2 will effectively reduce or stall the growth of plant life, which includes your food supply. But don’t worry about that because we have mad scientists at work daily creating fake meat, chemicals to imitate what real food used to taste like and other cardboard creations to substitute for real food. In increasingly large numbers of cases, we are seeing the use of human cells derived from aborted fetuses to enhance flavor!  I mean, after all, who needs fresh vegetables, fruit and meat? We can stop producing any of this and save mother earth in the process! And, if we can’t produce enough fake food for all of you……..well…..remember soylent green?

Back to this ultra cold weather up here in the northwoods….

See, the reason we had such abnormally cold weather is because of global warming which heated up the oceans. Because of this, the temperatures dropped and stayed there running in the double digits below zero. (What?) That’s how global warming works!

See… you just don’t understand how all this works!

The oceans heat up and warm the temperatures of the air above oceans and then that makes the temperature drop severely which is what we maintain happened (if we used the fabricated hockey stick model and the intentionally manipulated weather models) and then the polar bears drown and, and sea levels rise and then your city is under water and it just keeps getting hotter and hotter……whew! Is anyone besides me too warm???

So there you have it. It got abnormally cold for extended periods of time because of global warming and heating up of the oceans. Make sense to you now?

Me either.